2014 NFL MVP: Say Watt ?!?

2014 wore us out with old sounding new sports verbiage like “energy”, “moving the needle”, and “bubble screens”. Let’s make up for that mess with a new “it’s about time” kind of event. Get J.J. Watt that NFL MVP award stat. I don’t know what stat means either, I’m just trying sound hip for Young Gun’s sake.

If you hate new things, consider that the dude would look right at home donning a leather helmet. Plus, HE PLAYS BOTH SIDES OF THE LINE!

JJ Don’t hit me with that whiny “but Intrinsic, defensive players already get their own award. It’s called the defensive player of the year award.” That’s not relevant. You know why? HE PLAYS BOTH SIDES OF THE LINE!

Playing defensive end this season for the Houston Texans, he racked up 78 combined tackles, 20.5 sacks, forced 4 fumbles, recovered 5 fumbles, intercepted a pass and ran it to the house for 80 yards, and made one safety.

While playing offense all he did as a receiver was go 3 for 3 for 3 touchdowns.

I’ll bet the guy even baked the halftime snacks. Traditionally, the MVP almost always goes to the pretty boy quarterbacks or the strong legged running backs. For that reason you’ll hear buzz for Le’Veon Bell (Zzzzz), Aaron Rodgers (discount double wreck), Demarco Murray (spare me), Tony Romo (I’ve fallen and I can’t get up), and Tom Brady (my wife’s Gisele).

We’ll have to wait until the night before the Superbowl to find out when they announce the awards. If they have a pair, they’ll give the thing to J.J.

Vote for Hope and Change. A bunch of you have done that twice already.

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