Berman Needs A Stache

Admit it, when you saw it you were filled with hope. When you first saw Chris Berman’s stache you thought maybe he was doing an extreme makeover. You know, baseball slugger goes into a slump and grows the fattest, gnarliest porn stache and makes some changes and returns to his former glory.

When you saw Chris Berman sporting a woolly booger during NFL preseason, you were excited. Excited that there’d be a change.

Excited that at halftime of Monday Night Football, you wouldn’t be forced to sit through sports euphemisms like “WHOOP!”. You wouldn’t have to listen to cheesy statements like “Number 4 throws a touchdown and we all wonder, How Favre Can He Go?”
Then you realized when you dialed in Monday night and saw his naked grill that you’d been juked. Bamboozled. You didn’t keep your head on a swivel.
Berman’s naked upper lip appears like ….”It….Could….Go….All….The….Way!
Condolences Monday Night Football fans. First you lost Hank Jr. and were forced to buy cable. Now you’re stuck with the same trite recaps you thought you’d evolved out of.

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