PETA Thinks Vick Is Just Average

Remember when you were in the dating game and you would go out of your way to learn more about your prospective date’s interests and research them/it so you’d make a good impression?

Most you just answered no, and seemingly ex NFL Quarterback and dogfight Godfather Michael Vick doesn’t know what I am referring to either.

In a reported attempt to win PETA’s endorsement to return to the NFL, Vick took a PETA generated test on empathy and was prepared enough to shine with a C on it.

Hold up…….PETA’s endorsement to return to the NFL?

Supposedly, PETA has lobbied the NFL and is bamboozling them with an Obi Wan jedi mind trick, including being quoted as saying:

“Commissioner Goodell knows that he has an obligation to the league and to millions of fans, including children… to make sure Michael Vick is mentally capable of remorse before he can touch, let alone wear, an NFL uniform again.”

This quote is much more powerful when you imagine a minimally clad woman in a cage with red paint on her reciting it while waving her paw, er… hand over the fake horizon in front of her in a confident manner.

This issue was important enough to Vick’s handlers (or dollar sucking hangers on) to prepare him so he could get an impressive “C”. Where would that type of effort landed one of Vick’s dogs? Don’t even think about it.

Before you pajama clad Frappers with low impulse filters throw red paint on your monitor and then find some way to blame it on me, let me just disclose that I love animals and have a house full of them. They get treated better than I do and I am also keenly aware that if a fire broke out and the Bent family had a choice to make, the animals would have nothing to worry about while yours truly would be in trouble.

But I am not ashamed to simply say that I also love me some McNuggets, and refuse to feel bad about it. Especially when there’s plenty of dipping sauce available.

Check out the bizarre test and futile attempt by Vick to make the the grade.


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