Barry Bonds Esq.

I have been out of the loop recently, but when I saw an article about Barry Bonds and steroids on Yahoo yesterday I fought my gag reflex and read the opening sentence. I was glad I did both.

The article started out like this:

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — Barry Bonds asked a federal judge to dismiss perjury charges against him Wednesday, arguing the indictment is “scattershot” and noted for its “striking inartfulness.”

Did Barry go to Law School at Don King School of Law? Scattershot? Inartfulness? Are you kidding me?

I mean that verbage is splendiferous maladacious legalocity in the 3rd degree.

Actually, the funniest part of the article followed by saying:

The lawyers said “the questions posed to him by two different prosecutors were frequently imprecise, redundant, overlapping and frequently compound.”

Prosecutors asked Bonds several times whether personal trainer Greg Anderson supplied him with steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs beginning in 2000. Bonds answered “no” or “not at all,” but his lawyers argued the questions were not clear.”

O.J. should hire Barry as his lawyer. Not since Johnny Cochran has a defense tried to confuse the simplicity of a matter by such extreme misdirection.

It’s ridiclievable.

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