Here we go, some preseason NBA fun.
The Phoenix Sun that resembles a raptor (the Juraissic Park kind, not the Canadian team) when he shoots, wants a trade. I like the way he shoots. The ball goes in often. He rebounds. He shares. He’s a winner. He’s a veteran. He’s playoff tested.
Let me pass on the following letter:
Dear Shawn Marion,
We are sorry to hear that your current employer undervalues you and continually seems to want to make you move away from them.
We have always admired you as a person as well as the work you do.
When we’ve played you, we wanted to win, but somehow always secretly wished there was a way you could win too.
We know how it feels to be unwanted. We once played in Minnesota and they shipped us out to what they thought was a western barren basketball wasteland. But we worked hard, and showed them that we were in fact a team that was good.
Why don’t you consider coming and playing for us? Don’t worry about the star on our team, as he wants a trade, but we won’t give him one if you don’t want us to.
You will get a lot of fake attention from the other basketball team in town, especially since their power forward is out for the year. But then what? Would they try to make you leave too after they used you? You don’t want that. Plus, they don’t have any more self respect than to rent space in our gym to play in where the seats are purple and gold.
Did I tell you how good you’d look in those historical purple and gold colors? You would!
We also have a lot of famous people that come to our games. Especially when we are winning. But they won’t get in your way after the games, because they always leave early.
And we have sushi in our concessions!
We love guys with two first names also!
Your devoted followers,