Rally Monkey Must Die

I’m going to get right to the point here everybody: the Rally Monkey must die.

On Thursday night I made the trip up to Anaheim to see my beloved Angels play against the A’s. It was a pretty exciting game all the way through as the A’s would take the lead and the Angels would tie it up again. As the game went on, I could feel some great insights being revealed to me that I knew the Frappe community would enjoy; things like how Gary Matthews Jr. and I share a special bond because we are both Jay-Z fans (which also means the man never took HGH), and how Nick Swisher belongs on 10 Years Younger just so they can chop that mop.

But like I said, the Rally Monkey must die. He’s ruined my Angel experience for the last time. For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, here is a brief history of the Rally Monkey. On June 6 of 2000, the Angels were losing to the San Francisco Giants late in the game. In order to get the crowd back into the game, someone in the video crew played a scene from a movie with a monkey jumping up and down. Superimposed over the front of the video were the words “Rally Monkey!” The Angels scored 2 runs in the bottom of the 9th to win and the Rally Monkey was born.

Since then, the Rally Monkey has made appearances in every home game that the Angels have been down in the 7th inning or later (the rules state that a runner must be on base and the Angels must be within 3 runs, but I believe these rules has been abused repeatedly). This means that for 7 years I’ve been witnessing that damn capuchin monkey poke his head into Angel Stadium and the song “Jump Around” be blasted over the sound system. While sometimes it appears the magic works and the Angels win, there are plenty of other times (Thursday night being an example since Piazza hit a 9th inning solo) where the Angels fall flat on their faces and I am left embarrassed by the jumping mascot.

What’s even more amazing is that a quick search will reveal that other teams are now selling rally monkeys! Here’s a rally monkey you can buy dressed in Nationals gear and here is one dressed in a Knicks Jersey. In fact, you can get one for any MLB team you want, even the Yankees! All this time I thought the Rally Monkey was a faithful primate to the Angels Franchise, but it turns out he’s been playing the part of the whore behind our backs.

With this being the 7th season for the Rally Monkey, I think it’s time someone upstairs said, “That’s enough. We’ve had a good run and some funny moments, but it needs to end.” And honestly, it’s not even done that well anymore. It used to be that the videos that introduced the Rally Monkey were humorous and well put together. You might have a scary part of a popular movie being played, and when the killer would appear, the Rally Monkey would be in his place. On Thursday night, a compilation of American Idol clips were shown in which the judges were praising a singer’s performance. While I was secretly hoping we were introducing the new “Rally Sanjaya,” the monkey was shown in his usual way, superimposed over the American Idol stage. Now that’s straight up boring. At this point, a Rally Sanjaya would be much more horrifying and distracting to the opposition and should probably be considered as a viable option.

So here is my plea. I’m hoping somehow, somewhere, this Frappe post reaches someone high up in the Angels organization. Actually, I’m looking for anyone who has access to the media room; even the janitor will do. All you have to do is go in there and delete any media that is monkey related. Then we’ll be done with this thing. Please, it’s time to pull the cord on this monkey just like it was time to pull the cord on the Angels Wing-Flap back in the 90’s. Let’s give it a rest and let the fans be responsible on their own for rallying this team to victory.

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3 thoughts on “Rally Monkey Must Die

  1. Your rally Sanjaya idea is straight brilliance – though I am actually quite proud of the fact that other franchises sell rally monkeys, since it proves how wonderful an idea it was that others would so shamelessly rip it off.

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