This Tape Will Self Destruct…………

Michael Vick has many talents. He combines running, throwing, and creating pseudonyms (ie Ron Mexico) from the quarterback position like no other.

It’s now being reported that he possibly has another title. Covert mission impossible style smuggling agent for the rastafarian nation.

Falcons’ quarterback Michael Vick is under investigation for an incident at Miami International Airport Wednesday morning in which a water bottle he allegedly possessed contained a secret compartment that held an undetermined trace substance and smelled like marijuana.

Contents in the water bottle described in a police report as “a dark particulate and officials describe a pungent aroma closely associated with marijuana,” are being analyzed by Miami-Dade Police.

Vick was not arrested and caught his scheduled flight to Atlanta. It’s safe to say if this was you or me, we’d still be face down on the cold Miami Airport floor.

Here’s more:

According to the police report, Vick drew suspicion when he refused to part with a bottle of water at a security-screening checkpoint. Bottled liquids have been prohibited at most U.S. airports for months for security purposes. Vick eventually threw the bottle in a waste container but his initial reluctance caused TSA officials to examine the bottle, described as a 20 oz. bottle of Aquafina water.

Intrinsic’s Translation (this is similar to what Madden does by drawing on your screen): Vick was told he couldn’t take liquids onto the plane as per TSA law and he threw out something like, “Do you know who I am?” or maybe simply “I’m Mike Vick”.

When the big chick in the skin tight government issue slacks was unimpressed, she asked for the bottle with an outstretched hand reaching in his general direction. At this Vick brought the bottle to his waist and probably turned so his body blocked Big Mama’s attempt to strip him of the ball……………bottle.

When the combination of TSA attention and the barking dogs approaching with a crave for the sticky icky, Vick tried to get cooperative, tossed it in the trash, threw his hands up with a smile and probably said something like, “It’s all good” and tried to get back to his place in line.

The TSA agents circle around the H2O receiving bin with their xray wands drawn and someone bravely reaches in and grabs the Aquafina. Then I envision a scene similar to the one at the chimp cage at the local zoo when someone throws a foreign object into their enclosure. There is a lot of shrieking, and circling the bin as they throw around the bottle and look at it, finally finding the secret compartment.

End of translation. (No offense to the TSA intended, of course)

I’m sure that the good folks at Aquafina are verrrry stoked about this free publicity. When were they going to roll out this secret agent bottle promo to the general public?

Back in my day they simply called the bottle that carried liquids with the secret compartment…………………a thermos.

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3 thoughts on “This Tape Will Self Destruct…………

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