New Skool Survivor

I’m writing this after having just successfully run the gauntlet that is Oakland Airport.  It’s like a new version of the Survivor® series.

Why?

It’s Saturday, the day before a Raiders’ game.  Every miscreant, hanger on, wannabe, and football myopian is coming in from black places everywhere to play dress up and root for their crappy team.

I ran the race like a man.  The degree of difficulty was down due to not being distracted by face paint, Darth Vader regalia, and horns protruding from every possible area of their face and body that a game day trip would have presented.

I corrected this issue by actually making eye contact with some of the swarms of black.

Don’t try this at home.  I’ve spent years in training for stuff like this.

A quick memo to airport food providers:

I realize that you think you are your own country and are comfortable with charging 13 bucks for a burger.  Adding the word “Gourmet” to a food item does not give you Carte Blanche to throw the leftover vegetable items from the night before all over it.

Peace.

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