Fish Brilliance

I’m not referring to anything going on with the Miami Dolphins or the Florida Marlins, but because of the brilliance part you knew that.

I’m talking about the Jedi mind tricks by The Tuna.

I’m not talking about the obvious decision to bench quarterback Drew Bledsoe for his understudy Tony Romo.

I wondered before last night’s game whether this might be The Tuna’s (Dallas Cowboy’s Head Coach Bill Parcells) way of accepting the contribution of controversial wide receiver Terrell Owens……………………without openly admitting it.

We’ve never officially known how Parcells felt about Cowboys’ owner Jerry Jones decision to bring in the high talent and even higher drama prone receiver that is T.O.

We were left to surmise how he felt based on what he didn’t say. He never verbally gave his opinion on it. He went out of his way not to heap much praise on Owens, while he stacked it high instead on the receiver on the other end of the line, Terry Glenn.

He had no official comment on Owen’s preseason uniformed stationary bike journeys while he was injured, or the whole bad cocktail of supplements and medication.

He even acted like he didn’t know how much T.O. still had left in the talent tank, just because he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes in his own practices (due to the aforementioned injury the wide receiver sustained).

That’s why last week during the height of the media storm over the quarterback change, I had this question:

What is this Old Skool coach who seems to use every situation as well as the media to his benefit, REALLY trying to accomplish?

Then it came to me. By making the QB switch he creates a firestorm of speculation that acts as a king size diversion.

The young quarterback (Romo) will be influenced by the larger than life and charismatic Terrell Owens.

The older quarterback (Bledsoe) was attached to Terry Glenn because their history went back to their playing days together under The Tuna with the New England Patriots. Plus you know Bledsoe had to have a large guard up against quarterback slayer Owens because he had already dissed two previous quarterbacks as gay (49er quarterback Jeff Garcia) and a quitter (Philadelphia Eagle quarterback Donovan McNabb).

When I thought about Owen’s probable influence over the younger quarterback I flashed to the previous game when the camera showed a very engaging Owens chatting it up with Romo on the sidelines immediately after he was subbed in for Bledsoe.

Jedi Master Tuna-Wan Kenobi had little to lose other than the risk that Romo might not step up and get the job done. Sunday Night’s commentators Al Michaels and John Madden stated that game tape from Bledsoe’s last game as a starter showed linemen were not blocking for their failing leader. Sounds like Parcells didn’t want a full blown mutiny added to his menu of challenges.

I went into last night’s game fully believing this was the real plan:

  • Play the kid at quarterback and energize the team in the process.
  • The kid will favor the big name playmaker and throw him the ball.
  • The Cowboys make a run on the shoulders of the big mouthed and even bigger egoed $25 million star.
  • The Jedi Master salvages his legacy somewhat by hopefully making the playoffs before he retires after this season.
  • Never once will he ever admit this was the plan, or that he respects or believes in the high dollar playmaker or the owner’s decision to acquire him.

Ok, so I make a pretty good Oliver Stone (or even SubversiveTheory), but am I even close?

Two things told me I was dead on:

First was when the very first play was a pass play to T.O.

The second was when after the Cowboys converted the 2 point play to Owens in the second half to put the ‘Boys up by 7, Parcells lovingly slapped T.O. with his fin, er……hand.

That’s a reward for a job well done in Tunaland.


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