Floodlit Dinners for 38,000?

Today while reading my free newspaper on the subway, I came across a highly disturbing sports article.  Written by a Sarah Green, it appears this journalist takes the term “I love this game” to an entirely new level.  I became a little uncomfortable in my seat.  

On the recent contractual agreement between David Ortiz and the Boston Red Sox, Green made the following remarks: “David Americo Ortiz made an honest Nation out of the Fenway Faithful . . . he wanted to grow old with us, and he wasn’t afraid to say it . . . He just makes us feel so safe with those big arms of his . . . He likes floodlit dinners for 38,000, slow jogs around the bases and a good laugh in the dugout every now and then . . . But then, I always cry at long-term contract signing.”  

Trust me, it gets much worse, but I don’t want to put you through the squeamish details that ruined my morning commute.  Here’s the deal, Frappers: you don’t have to worry about this kind of discomfort with us.  As long as you’ve got your ice cold mocha in your hands, made by none other than Kid Knowledge Droppings, you can relax.  

Sure, every now and then I’ve been known to drop a comment or two about being the lover to various members of 2002 World Champion Anaheim Angels; but I promise to keep those moments to a bare minimum.  We here at the Frappe believe in keeping up the façade that separates the macho sports fanatic from the “You’ve Got Mail” watching sensitive type . . . even though we all know the line is not always so clear . . .

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