A Meeting With George Mason

Hello George Mason, we’re the Sports Frappe, it’s nice to meet you.  We readily confess that we had never heard of your school up until a couple weeks ago; let alone the fact that you had a basketball team.  In fact, our public high school educations never told us the story of your noble revolutionary namesake, who refused to sign the U. S. constitution because it didn’t abolish slavery.  But you’ll forgive us of all that, because you hadn’t heard of the Sports Frappe before now either.

Well George, (can we call you George?) let’s make a deal.  We want to root for you; heck everyone does.  But there’s one thing that worries us: if you end up winning it all, DO NOT, under any circumstances, give the movie rights to Disney.  Seriously, they’ve ruined enough great sporting moments to prove this point.  By the time they’re done writing the screenplay to your storybook championship, your star guard Tony Skinn will be an orphan adopted by Coach Larranaga, and all of your final opponents’ players will have been transformed into neo-Nazis.  Nothing says made by Disney like kids without parents and rampant racism.

Okay, Hollywood might not take it that far.  Nonetheless, we’ve got enough sports movies that turn real life stories into the same old tired formula.  Let’s let George Mason win it all, and let’s just celebrate the real deal, an eleven seed that beat all-comers to become national champions.  Do we need the inspirational backgrounds to be trumped up beyond recognition?  Do we need the game to represent some struggle of humanity that goes well beyond the court?  

I say no.  Let’s just enjoy an unlikely champion.  And you better agree to our terms, George Mason, otherwise I’m rooting for LSU . . . because the “Big Baby” would make a much better Disney character than anyone on your squad.

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