Operation Yao Ming

There are stories on the web everyday that are ridiculous, wacky, brilliant, bizarre, stupid, cogent, informative, and more. There are many sources you can go to that track every sneeze by a soccer player from here to Leeds. They’re a dime a dozen.

Our publication doesn’t play that type of journalism. Consider The Sports Frappe a laser in a blogosphere of flood lights.

But we have to discuss this article I found on the web last week. Written by a former Newsweek journalist, it spins a tale of Yao Ming as a well planned creation of the Chinese government. The only element missing is the Petri dish chapter.

Supposedly, China forced Yao’s parents to marry due to their respective unusual heights. Then Yao was forced into a series of labor camp style basketball training for most of his life.

All of this in order to start a master race of Chinese NBA basketball players. Is that really how the end of the world is going to go down? How did we miss that? So, they’re gonna get in through our gyms. You know Osama is bitter about missing that one. How come there’s no color to cover that in Homeland Security’s system?

You better work on your strength and your outside shot, as this seems to be their weakness. If you don’t believe me, watch a Rockets game when Yao gets back.

It reminds me when I was a teen and the summer Olympics rolled around and the East German and Russian Women swim teams would shred us on the medal count. These dudes were chiseled with well toned muscles, an ever present 5 o’clock shadow, and tons of pit and leg hair. They would win a race, jump out of the pool, whinny, and their coach would reward them with a sugar cube.

Man, I miss the good old days.

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