Johnny Damon and the Phillistines

This is one of those off-season moves that’s bad for everyone involved.  Johnny Damon signs a 52 million dollar, 4 year contract with the New York Yankees.  

This move is bad for the Yankees because it changes nothing for them.  Before the deal, they were an aging team that needed pitching; now they’re still an aging team that needs pitching, and they have less funds with which to do anything about it.

This move is bad for Johnny because for him, everything changes; and yes, I’m talking about his hair.  Johnny’s entire legacy is found in his Biblical-like hairstyle.  Think about it, do you remember a single thing this guy did before he grew out his long locks?  It’s like Johnny Damon is Samson, and George Steinbrenner is Delilah; once George makes him trim his ‘do and chop his chops, Damon’s baseball strength will be gone forever; except for perhaps one final episode in which the baseball Gods bestow their strength on Johnny once again, but only so that he can topple the “House That Ruth Built” from the foundations, crushing all of the hated Yankee fans seated within.  (If this isn’t funny to you, read your Old Testament.)

But as usual, that’s what money will do to you, make you make foolish decisions.  I wouldn’t want to end this blog on a note like that, however, so I’d like to bring up another signing that has received little to no media coverage this winter.  Last month, Tim Salmon signed a minor league deal with the team he’s played for his entire career, the Angels.  Granted, he might not even make the team, and granted, even if he does, this isn’t a move that would guarantee he’ll finish his career in Anaheim.  Nonetheless, you would think that Salmon could have pulled down a couple million somewhere like Kansas City or Pittsburgh, a place where he’d be sure to get a full shot at proving himself again.  But Salmon’s a rarity in this age of sports, last summer he said that he’s come to terms with the fact that he may have taken his last big league at bat; but he hasn’t come to terms with the idea that he may have taken his last at bat as an Angel.  

It might not make the front page, but it’s comforting to know that some players still care about the legacy they’ll leave.


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