World Cyber Games

At the World Cyber Games, it was the year of the USA.  That’s right Americans, we cleaned up at the biggest up and coming international sporting event.  Led by the Ryan brothers, (Dan and Tom), the U.S. squad took gold medals in Halo 2 and Counter Strike.  

I realize that most sports buffs won’t give much time to the Cyber Games, but if you think about it, what better sport than to match up terrorists and anti-terrorists on the digital playing field?  Or how about defending a computerized model of human civilization against an aggressive alien nation seeking to destroy Mother Earth?

Really, it’s just as arbitrary as trying to place a small dimpled sphere into a hole in the ground 400 yards away, using the fewest strokes with a wooden or iron club.  The U.S. happens to have one of the best men in the world at doing that.

We used to dominate world competition when it comes to putting a larger sphere through a 10 foot high hoop, all the while not moving one’s feet while cradling said sphere; but now we kind of suck at it.  We’re one of the only countries to play a sport in which teams try to score in increments of 2, 3, 6, 7, or 8 based on throwing, rushing, or kicking a ball into a ten by forty yard rectangular region; so I guess we rule at that.  

There are plenty of sports we could use some improvement at, like the one in which individuals or pairs perform a variety of stunts choreographed to music, all while gliding across ice on metallic blades.  Lately we’ve been getting better at twirling around on a cushioned box featuring two handles.

I just can’t wait for the day the U.S. takes the gold medal at finding the other team’s hidden pennant without being caught in their territory and bringing it back to our own.  Yes, that’s right, I’m proposing an international capture the flag competition.

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