I’ll Be A Monkey’s Uncle

There have been some cool primates over the years. Curious George, Grape Ape, King Kong, Koko the talking gorilla, Bubbles the chimp, and the Planets of the Apes chimps, orangutans, and gorillas. I love the “Planet Of” crew whether it was the original movies, the tv show, or the Marky Mark movie.

I must admit that I have a full head gorilla mask, made of rubber, with very lifelike fur. I have loads of fun with it, but for some reason, whenever I put it on my family suddenly has things to do that never include me. Now I would have never told you any of this until I read a report in the Boston Herald today. Then I thought it was about time I opened up to you.

It seems that after Boston’s GM Theo Epstein turned down a $4.5 million offer from the BoSox, he borrowed a full gorilla suit from someone at the stadium that was trick or treating there. Uh, how big (or old) was this halloweener, and what the heck was he doing trick or treating in Fenway?

Anyway, the story said Theo was giddy ($4.5 mill? That’s expensive giddiness) after turning down the Sox offer and asked the kid(?) to borrow his costume. After donning the suit, the story says that he monkeyed (they said it not me) around in the baseball operations office and then paraded right past the awaiting media anxiously assembled for news of Epstein’s decision.

Some reported seeing a gorilla driving out of the lot in a black Volvo like the one Theo owns. Now when I go to the zoo and watch the monkeys in their “natural habitat” usually I eventually see a monkey express his glee at being in that concrete pit by throwing a certain substance that they find lying around at the gawking crowd.

There’s no word on whether Theo celebrated in this manner.

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